Where does My Pain Originate? What Would I need To Happen For Me To Heal?
Today is day 21 of 30 questions for self discovery; the prompt for today was 'where does my pain originate what would it take for me to heal'
I don't feel pain anymore, not int he way I used to at least. There was a point in my life where I was broken; had no confidence, didn't like myself and, felt misunderstood and alone.
The pain originated in childhood; there were times I felt unloved, unworthy and abandoned. Things that would happen later in life reinforced the belief I was unloveable and not good enough. I admit sometimes like a failure, but because I am aware of the root cause of my pain, the feeling never lasts long; I am able to tell myself that "I am loved, I am good enough, everyone has days like this"
How did I heal?
A LOT of therapy (I started counseling at around 9); I think the counseling is why I am fairly self aware and not afraid to dive deep and face the yuck bits of life now. Through therapy, I realsied the stories I had been telling myself were just that, stories. The experiences I went through as a child weren't linked to what happened late in life; they didn't say much about me, but they did say a lot about the other people/person. The experiences remind me that everyone is going through heir own shit, a lot of times people project their own hurt and fear on to others, and I could choose to hold on to that baggage and pain or let it go.
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