Motion Creates More Motion - Self Care When I'm Depressed

journal

I'm depressed; I've recently written about feeling low and having no energy (here and here), but until now I hadn't admitted to myself that the reason I feel so shitty is I'm depressed. 

Last night I watched a video by Karissa Pukas, where she talks about depression, and it really struck a chord with me. The video was a great reminder that motion creates more motion, and while depression isn't a choice, what I do with it can be a choice. 

After watching Karissa's video, I wrote a list of things I can do to show myself some love and to create some motion in my life, here's what it came up with:

Food

  • Make sure I drink lots of water.
  • Take the time to make healthy and nutritious meals (eating well and skincare are two things that go out the window when I'm feeling like crap).

Journalling

  • List three things I am grateful for today.
  • Write a list of non-negotiables for the day (these are things I need to do, no matter how shitty I'm feeling). 
  • Write a list of 100 things that make me happy (money aside).
  • List 10 things I want to do before I die (what non-negotiables on this list? I can't do them if I'm not here).

Body and soul

  • shower and put on something clean. 
  • Do some yoga. 
  • Meditate.
  • Go for a walk to a nearby cafĂ© to get a coffee.

Around The House

  • Make the bed
  • Light some incense
  • Tidy
  • Put my clothes away (they have been in the ashing clean pile for almost two weeks). 

Obviously, what I do will depend on how much energy I have that day, but this list is a great starting point, the things on it are small (mainly manageable) things I can do to help me feel a bit better (even if that is just getting out of bed, showering and putting on PJs). 

Another takeaway I got from Karissa's video is that my thoughts are just thoughts; they are not the truth and they are not what everyone else is thinking. At times, I feel like the only person suffering from depression, that it would be much easier on everyone else if I wasn't here,  and that no one cares about me; I know none of that is true. 

  • I am not the only person suffering from depression, which is a big part of the reason I have been writing these posts; I'm alone in the way I feel, and neither are you. 
  • I feel so much guilt and like my existence to those around me is a burden because I'm so fucking miserable. Sometimes, I feel it would be easier if I wasn't here, but that's bullshit, the pain I feel right now will just be passed on to the people who love me. 
  • I am loved and care for; I have awesome friends and family, and they don't think that I'm as useless as I feel. 

Depression is a complete and utter mind fuck, but it's always good to remember motion creates more motion (something as little as brushing your teeth can make you feel good), and that you're not alone, you're are not a burden, and there are people who love you.