Full Moon Tarot Spread (September - October 2018)

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It’s a full moon, which means it’s time for another full moon tarot spread. As I mentioned in this week’s Weekly Gratitude List, I’ve been feeling a bit shit lately, and to be honest, I really didn’t feel like doing a reading. 

Something in the back of my mind told me I needed to get my ass into gear, and so I pulled out my cards, mat, some crystals, and my La Lune Healing smudge spray. I created a sacred space, meditated a bit and then did Biddy Tarot’s Full Moon Spread.  

I’m so glad I didn’t give in to the feelings of doubt and apathy, because today’s reading what exactly what I needed; it lifted a weight off my shoulders. I feel so relieved and motivated, and I have this sense of contentment I haven’t felt for a while.  

Today, I wanted to my share my reading with you.  

fullmoontarotspread

What Have I created and manifested since the new moon?  (seven of swords/Upright)

Keywords: Betrayal, deception, getting away with something, stealth  

Honestly, this card confused the living shit out of me. The card depicts someone stealing five of the seven swords, and walking off hoping they don’t get caught.  

At first, I didn’t feel as if I had betrayed or let anyone down (or been betrayed), but when I thought about this reading as a whole, I realised it’s pretty apt. I have betrayed myself; I have let myself believe the part of me that thinks I’m not good enough and that nothing will ever go to plan. Giving into the negative thoughts is definitely part of the reason I’ve felt so down lately, and it’s something I’m actively working on.  

Where Am I Now (Queen of swords/Upright) 

Keywords: Quick thinker, organised, perceptive, independent.  

The image here is of the queen sitting on her throne; to me, this woman has a commanding presence, and she is summoning forth something we can’t see. I feel that she’s ready to take charge; she realises what she wants and is ready to get it. It’s definitely a reflection of where I am at the moment; there are a few things I want to do within the next six months, and I am going to try my best to make them happen instead of giving into the side of me that tells nothing will work out.  

I’m also stepping into a place where I’m more sure of myself and my capabilities.

What is coming into my conscious awareness? (4 of swords/upright) 

Keywords: Contemplation, passivity, recuperation, relaxation, rest)  

I have found way to relax and meditate without feeling stressed/hyper-aware of my thoughts, feelings, and the stuff going on around me. My doctor called me a stress bunny when I saw her a while ago; my blood pressure was high as fuck and I had an earache caused by a tense jaw, which was likely due to me grinding my teeth in my sleep. I find it hard to relax and unwind. I am constantly worried something going wrong, the stuff happening in my life, and things I can’t control; it’s as if I’m lying in bed waiting for the swords above to fall on me.

Lately, I have been meditating daily using the Simple Habits app. I haven’t signed up for a subscription, so have only used the free meditations available, and HOLY SHIT, they’ve been amazing. I haven’t felt so relaxed or motivated after any meditation as much as I have after these ones.  

What Is No Longer Serving Me (High Priestess/Upright)  

Keywords: Intuition, higher power, mystery, subconscious mind

I realised yesterday that it’s time I stopped relying on self help books, and lifestyle blogs/courses to help get me motivated, find my purpose and become unstuck. My inbox is FULL of them; the thing is, I already have the tools I need; what I need to do is start putting everything I know into practice, rather than searching for the answers elsewhere. 

I think stuff like this can be great, but they shouldn’t be a crutch; there needs to be a balance, and if I’m completely honest with myself, I’m not going to be able to trust my higher power, if I’m constantly reading about how to do it, instead of actually listening to myself.

How Can I release and let go of these higher energies?  (5 of wands/upright)

Keywords: Disagreement, completions, strife, tension, conflict  

By learning to calm the nosiness in my mind rather than fighting my thoughts. I need to work out why I’m feeling a certain way and acknowledge my thoughts and feelings rather than letting them overwhelm me and getting stressed out.

What Additional Resources Are Available as I release and let go (Knight of cups/upright) 

Keywords: Romance, charm, knight in shining armour. Imagination

This is going to sound cliché as fuck, but my husband. He is my rock; he’s incredibly supportive and is always getting me to open up and talk about things that are on my mind. As open as I am about my struggles with anxiety and depression on my blog, it’s something I have difficulty talking about; he gets me out of my shell, no matter how stupid, or little I think something bothering me is.  

My Takeaway

As I mentioned earlier, I felt so relieved after I did this reading. Lately, I’ve been feeling as if nothing is going to work out, I’m not good enough, and just stuck.

Doing this reading was great reminder that those thoughts are okay, but I shouldn’t dwell on them, and I need to find ways of dealing with stress and anxiety that aren’t retreating within my self. I can meditate, talk to people around me, journal; whatever makes me feel better.

I also need to stop relying on self help books/lifestyle blogs and course to help get me motivated. I need to find a balance between learning how to deal with life’s shit/growing as a person and putting what I know into practice.